I constantly ask myself this question, because ironically I'm in a situation where something that's making me extremely happy would make someone I know devastated. Is my personal happiness justified? The answer is, I'm not quite sure. I constantly have to fight the guilt that I'm hurting someone I truly care about day to day, but the happiness that I'm feeling as a result makes everything else seem to go away. I'm the type of person who has always done things for other people. In fact, the majority of the good deeds I have done have been based on making others happy. For example, one night I had homework coming "out of my ears," instead I chose to make cookies because there were so many people stressed out and/or crying about their own personal homework loads. Do I regret it? Not in the slightest. I feel like it's the little things that I can do day to day to make others happy. Although this is a great quality that I possess, I'm using this to attempt to justify hurting someone else. I've figured, I've done so many things for other people, I should do something for myself. The fact is, after pondering about this subject, what I'm doing isn't justified, and there is no way to justify it. This would be the same if I were to fall in love with someone that people I am close with find unacceptable. Under no circumstance can I vindicate myself.
The next question that comes with hurting someone else, how much am I personally willing to pay for personal happiness? I've learned a few of the consequences as time has gone by. If you're keep what's making you happy private, you can't share things with your friends. Your personal life becomes yours, and the girl talks that once existed are no longer present. You have to remain secretive, because that's the only way you can protect others. If you share you personal happiness with the world at the risk of others, there's a few things that happen. The friends and/or family that you have upset with your decision may choose to cut you out of their life. In that case, you have to decide if you value what's making you happy over others that have been by your side for sometimes only a short amount of time or even a lifetime. I never thought that I would choose myself before others, but after finding myself in a similar situation, I find that it's extremely hard to not become completely selfish over things that make us happy. Therefore, I would pay the price of staying happy even if it meant hurting others around me. It's a hard realization to swallow, but sometimes you have to think of your life and no one else's. No one should make themselves completely miserable under any circumstance.
-CAR
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